Their Behavior Doesn’t Say Something About You

“My manager has been abrupt and almost mean in his emails. I’m starting to second guess myself,” said Blake (a highly competent VP in a Fortune 100 company).

“When did it start? And, how often does he do this?” I asked.

Blake realized that her boss began getting combative and micromanaging when the big reorg was being announced from the recent merger.

I helped her recognize that he’s likely stressed himself and that his behavior wasn’t saying something about her. His behavior was saying something about him.

Instead of questioning herself, she committed to asking him supportive questions:

• How are you doing in all of this?
• Where are you getting pressure from your manager?

Blake brought herself back into her Performance Zone—centered and confident while also extending support to her manager.

That’s powerful partnering!